It's a Matter of Trust
Devora Gray speaks a “man’s language.”
As a Sexuality Coach and 15 years of experience as a Relationship Counselor, she provides guidance to clients – 90 percent who are men and 40 percent who are seniors. She says most sexual issues boil down to this: when the woman doesn’t feel sexy, neither does the man.
“Couples in their fifties and sixties find their relationships gradually turn into sexless ones,” Gray said. “When the trust of acceptance isn’t there anymore, the sex falls apart.”
Many men want to regain the pulsing heartbeat of intimacy with their partner while countless women desire the lost tender touch, but most women step back due to puritanical social pressures, the Barbie Syndrome of being perfect in size and shape, and the effects of menopause.
Gray said if men want to recapture their partner’s loving caresses, they need to become comfortable discussing their needs. To master a sex-filled relationship, Gray suggests taking a week to engage in non-sexual touching. A tap on the arm or a graze on the neck to evoke intimacy and encouragement. The following week, a hand or foot massage, avoiding additional physical contact no matter how hard hearts may be fluttering. These weekly sessions become progressively steamier.
“Finding what forms of sex couples enjoy together is deeply satisfying and they will float on a cloud of contentment,” she said.
When each partner learns to trust, they confirm their dedication toward rediscovering the happy and sensual moments from long ago. Achieving this connection, Gray stated, leads the man to reclaim his sense of manhood and confidence.
The second honeymoon doesn’t stop there. Gray said to create moments of bliss that turn up the heat every day. “Couples should give and receive sensuality, whether in a touch, a kiss, or a full-scale ‘get down and dirty,’ lovemaking session,” she said. “This gradual connection shows there’s a burning light at the end of the sexual tunnel. They can recapture the warmth of desire they felt for each other in the past, and they can stoke a new kind of fire for the future.”
